Bow tie
by therealesther
Summary: “Bow ties aren’t very comfortable are they? Why don’t you take it off? I don’t think anyone will mind.” Kashiwagi x Yuki


Disclaimer: I don't own Marimite or its characters...maybe one day...**  
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**Bow tie  
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_Even the smallest bow tie, can change the course of the future. _

Ogasawara Sachiko's 20th birthday party was celebrated in grand style, as befitting the only daughter of one of Japan's business elite. The Ogasawara mansion's entertaining hall had been flooded with light and filled with food, guests, hired staff and music provided by professional musicians. The vast gardens were dotted with soft fairy lights and the trees hung with lanterns, casting a soft glow in contrast to the brightness and noise from the house.

Inside, tuxedos and evening gowns interspersed with embroidered kimono were standard wear, and older women chatted brightly over glass after glass of champagne, while grey-haired businessmen were coaxed to dance by their red-lipped young mistresses. Boys who had been given Lamborghinis before they could legally drive them and girls who regularly drained their father's credit card for Louis Vuitton stood in clusters together, gossiping and bragging, boasting and comparing.

It was Fukuzawa Yuki's first glimpse into this gilded cage, and he had never felt more out of place. Why on earth did he have to be here? He glanced across at the birthday girl herself, who was clad in a stunning kimono of light purple. Her face was pale and she looked tense, but calm. Yuki had no doubt that the source of her calm was the slender brown-haired girl at her side, standing so close that their clasped hands were almost hidden by the airy folds of Yumi's white dress and the heavy silk of Sachiko's sleeve. That's why he had had to come; because Ogasawara Sachiko had vowed she would not appear at this occasion without her petite soeur, and in consequence, Yumi had needed an escort.

Yuki sighed and tugged at the collar of his suit. It was the only suit he owned, and he was just being reminded of why he disliked it so much. It was the bow tie. It always felt too tight, scratched at his neck and held his collar tightly closed, stifling his skin. The bustling, brightly lit room was beginning to feel too warm and he was getting thirsty. Other guests had serving staff clustered around them, but Yuki was wary of the bubbling golden fluid in the tall, fluted glasses. He had tried beer with school friends, and his dad let him have sake on special occasions, but champagne was an unknown element. It would probably be better to avoid it for now.

The 19 year old was gazing distractedly at the sparkling liquid as it sloshed into the glass of a beautifully-dressed girl, who looked to be about his age. She was very pretty, wearing a slim-fitting red dress, and her long brown hair trailed down over one white shoulder. Yuki didn't notice when the girl noticed him. He didn't notice her smile, or the sultry look that appeared in her gaze as she turned to face him more directly, as if preparing to approach him. Instead, his eyes were automatically following the rising level of champagne in her glass, when a husky voice suddenly spoke right next to his ear.

"Enjoying the view, Yuki-kun? You should be careful; if she catches you staring like that, she might think you want some."

Yuki's head snapped around so fast he thought he heard his neck pop. His brown eyes went wide with shock.

"Se-sempai!?"

Laughing softly at the look on his former kouhai's face, Kashiwagi Suguru straightened up to lean against the wall beside Yuki.

"You and your sister are really alike, aren't you? You have a different facial expression for every situation!"

Yuki frowned and rubbed at his neck, which was starting to ache from twisting it so suddenly. Seeing this, Kashiwagi grinned with amusement.

"Are you really so shocked to see me here at my dear cousin's coming-of-age celebration, Yuki-kun? And as her loving fiancée, I couldn't miss such a milestone, now could I?"

Yuki looked away, uncomfortable at the odd tone in the young man's voice. He didn't know many details about Ogasawara Sachiko and her arranged marriage to her cousin, but as Yumi's brother, he knew exactly who the most important person in Sachiko's life was, and it wasn't her fiancé.

"Er, yeah, I suppose you couldn't. I was just surprised to see you. It's been a long time, Kashiwagi sempai."

"Yes, yes it has."

Kashiwagi's voice softened, and Yuki glanced up at his sempai's face, to see a pair of sapphire eyes gazing directly into his and his sempai smiling at him, a warm, gentle smile. Then the eyes shifted, traveling slowly from Yuki's face, down his body, to his feet, then back up again, in a way that made the brown-haired boy distinctly uncomfortable.

"Um, Sempai?"

Kashiwagi's smile widened.

"Nice suit. You've grown up, Yuki-kun."

It was true. In the last couple of years, Yuki had grown a few inches, added a few extra kilograms of muscle to his small, lean frame, and relatives and old ladies often made comments, but when Kashiwagi sempai remarked on it, Yuki felt a foreign heat creeping up his neck into his cheeks. Out of habit, he tugged at his bow tie nervously.

Kashiwagi immediately noticed.

"Bow ties aren't very comfortable are they? Why don't you take it off? I don't think anyone will mind."

Yuki was sorely tempted. His fingers twitched. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Sempai, where's your bow tie?"

The dark-haired man smiled again.

"I try to avoid wearing them at all costs. Besides, I don't think that what I'm wearing really needs a bow tie. What do you think, Yuki-kun?"

Was sempai asking him how he thought sempai looked? Did sempai actually want to know his opinion on what he was wearing? Yuki felt a bit out of his depth. The only time someone had asked him for his opinion on their clothes was, well, never really. Wasn't that the kind of question that girls usually asked? Except that Yumi didn't listen to his opinions anyway.

Yuki looked at Kashiwagi, noticing for the first time how close together they were standing. Sempai was wearing a black pinstriped suit that had probably been tailor-made for him, and under that a white collared shirt with no tie. The top two buttons were unfastened, and he could see the smooth pale hollow of Kashiwagi's throat and the merest shadow of a collarbone revealed as sempai shifted his shoulder slightly.

He didn't realize how long he had been looking until he heard sempai's amused voice.

"Yuki-kun, I think you've given me your answer."

"Huh?" Yuki started, and, seeing the laughter in the older boy's blue eyes, looked away in embarrassment. Fortunately, before his situation could get any more mortifying, all the lights in the hall suddenly dimmed and the guests went quiet.

A single spotlight lit up the paid MC for the evening, who stood up with a microphone in his hand.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very special guest to sing solo for us this evening; I believe any light opera fans among you will recognize the name of this beautiful lady, who has flown all the way from Okinawa to be with us, Miss-"

The rest of the MC's words were completely lost on Yuki, when he felt fingers working at the back of his collar, and abruptly the pressure of his bow tie was gone. The bow tie itself was now waving impishly before his gaze, held in Kashiwagi Suguru's long fingers.

"Sempai!" He hissed, and made a grab for it. The taller boy grinned and whisked it out of reach.

"If you want it, come and get it, Yuki-kun." With that, he turned and darted out through the French windows, which led onto a wide terrace overlooking the gardens.

Yuki stood gaping for all of two seconds before he followed, slipping through the doors, looking around wildly before he caught sight of Kashiwagi at the far end of the terrace. He had slipped off his suit jacket, and then folded it neatly over the terrace railing, before turning and grinning mockingly back at his pursuer.

"Wait!" Yuki took off, sprinting towards the dark-haired young man, who waited, smirking, until Yuki was within a few metres of him, then quick as a wink spun around and vaulted effortlessly over the railing, landing in a flower bed.

Yuki barely hesitated before going the same way, although due to the height difference, his leap wasn't quite so graceful, and when he had regained his footing, Kashiwagi was already halfway to the trees.

But Fukuzawa Yuki wasn't the centre forward of his club soccer team for nothing. Legs churning furiously, heedless of the dirt on his polished dress shoes and his combed brown locks being blown awry, he gave chase. To his own astonishment, Yuki felt himself smiling; laughter bubbling up past his lips as he ran. The night air was pleasantly cool on his skin, his muscles were warming up, pumped with adrenalin, and the annoying bow tie was no longer choking him. Thinking of this, the boy quickly reached up with one hand and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. His skin tingled at the refreshing breeze that swept over him, taking away the stifling sensation from the house.

This was better than standing around, being bored in a party where he knew nobody. Maybe Kashiwagi sempai, despite all his worldly experience and nonchalant air, had felt the same way.

Catching up, Yuki was soon within striking distance of his target. Reaching out for the white shirt just in front of him, he lunged. It all happened so quickly; one second his arms were winding tightly around sempai's waist, his face pressing into a shirt that smelled of expensive perfume, then in the next instant they were falling, and rolling, and Kashiwagi, agile as a cat, was twisting around in Yuki's grasp, then with a heavy thud, the two boys hit the ground and slid across the grass, coming to a halt beneath a peach tree.

Yuki lay still for a moment, panting heavily and head spinning. His side ached; he thought he had a stitch, and his left knee felt a bit bruised. That was it. Everything was ok, apart from the fact that he was now lying on top of Kashiwagi sempai, who was shaking with laughter, if the huge smile on the handsome face was any indicator. This had definitely not been part of Yuki's plan when he had tackled his sempai before. In fact, no plan Yuki had _ever_ had, had involved _this_ outcome.

He was beginning to wonder if the same could be said of Kashiwagi sempai's plans. Placing both palms on the ground on either side of the dark-haired boy's chest, he pushed away quickly.

At least, he tried to. But when he did that, sempai immediately stopped laughing and before Yuki knew what was happening, his hands were swept out from under him, and they were moving together, rolling over. Suddenly it was _his_ back pressed into the ground, the soft grass tickling his neck, and Kashiwagi sempai was looming over him, all laughter gone from his face, and a light in his sapphire eyes that set Yuki's heart thumping erratically.

"Se-sempai?"

His voice came out tiny and wavering, and he felt as if a brick had landed in his stomach.

"Yuki-kun."

Kashiwagi's tone sounded slightly mocking, and for a moment, things could have almost been normal and just from that tone of voice, they could have been in an everyday situation.

Then sempai's gaze lowered, past Yuki's chin, to his neck, and Yuki felt warm breath wash over his skin, through his unbuttoned collar. He wondered what the hollow at the base of his own sun-browned throat looked like, and if maybe it was a shadowy hint of collarbone that was holding sempai's attention for so long. When Kashiwagi's gaze met Yuki's again, his blue eyes were narrowed, and his voice when he spoke was a husky rasp.

"Yuki."

Never in his life had Fukuzawa Yuki heard his name spoken like that. Never in his 19 years had anyone looked at him as Kashiwagi sempai did then, just before he lowered his mouth to his.

After that, everything around them seemed to fade into the background, focusing and narrowing until the whole world was Kashiwagi sempai's lips and feeling how soft and warm they were, and what it was like to have them cover his, sliding and caressing until black spots appeared before Yuki's eyes. Suddenly, he remembered how to breathe through his nose. Kashiwagi pulled back for an instant, catching his breath.

Yuki managed to open his mouth, and gasp out, "Sempa-!" before, angling his head for better aim, sempai bent down again, and took full advantage of the boy's parted lips.

In desperation, Yuki wound his fingers through the sleek black hair, intending to pull Kashiwagi's head away. Unfortunately, sempai chose that moment to slide one hand up Yuki's back beneath his jacket, bringing their bodies closer together, and Yuki's fingers froze with shock at the sensation of the older boy's lean, broad frame pressed against him. He could feel the warmth of it seeping through his clothes, enveloping him like a blanket.

Unconsciously, his fingers tightened in Kashiwagi's hair, eliciting from him quite the opposite intended reaction. The dark-haired boy groaned softly, before lightly caressing with his tongue the roof of Yuki's mouth, sending a shuddering thrill sweeping through his entire body. How did sempai learn to kiss like this?

This was different to the times when Yuki had kissed girls. The girls he had kissed had been sweeter, quieter, more gentle and timid, with soft, shy kisses to match. That's because that's what Yuki's type was; quiet, sweet and feminine. At parties or blind dates with university friends, that was the type of girl he always went for, because with that kind of girl he felt more confident and in control.

If Kashiwagi sempai were a girl, what type would he be? Yuki wondered, growing a little light-headed and only faintly noticing that Kashiwagi's mouth had released his and was now attacking his jaw and neck, making moist, smacking noises.

Sempai would be the mysterious, cool-eyed girl, standing tall in the centre with the nonchalant air and dazzling smile, who none of the boys would even try for because they all knew they had no chance. Except, from the way Kashiwagi sempai was now sucking on Yuki's neck, just over his pulse, grazing the skin lightly with his teeth, it seemed like Yuki at least would have a pretty good chance.

Or was he the girl, and sempai was taking a chance with him? This was getting too confusing. And why was he even letting sempai do this? It's not like he was gay. Yuki liked girls a lot. He was pretty sure he wanted to marry one someday. Not soon, just someday.

Someday, some place where sempai wasn't pushing open his shirt, which had somehow become unbuttoned, and dropping kisses onto his chest and shoulders. One of sempai's hands was running down his stomach, all the way down to where his pants began. His pants, which had started to feel extraordinarily tight and uncomfortable somewhere in the heated haze of lips and warm breath and the soft noises that Kashiwagi was making.

Yuki wondered if anyone else had ever heard the dark-haired man making noises like this before. He wondered if sempai always did this when parties started to get boring. He thought it was very probable. He wondered about some of the boys he had seen inside the house. Which one would sempai have chosen, if Yuki wasn't there? And why-

Large brown eyes flew open as, without warning, the warm mouth left his skin, and the weight on top of him disappeared. For a moment Yuki lay in silence, stunned, not sure what to do. Why did sempai stop? Had he had enough? Had he left? Realizing the answers to these questions would not present themselves, Yuki slowly, shakily, sat up and looked around.

Kashiwagi sempai was sitting a few feet away, one hand over his eyes, the other resting on the ground, propping up his weight. His lips were parted, and seemed a bit swollen. Yuki thought his own lips probably looked like that too. They felt tender, almost sore when he pressed his fingers to them.

"Yuki." He jumped at the sound of his sempai's voice. It sounded very different to the husky rasp he had heard before; now it was quiet, subdued, and sounded a little tired.

"Yeah? Uh, yes?"

"You should button up your shirt. The wind is quite cool out here."

"Huh? Oh!" He still wasn't entirely sure when his shirt had got into its unbuttoned state, but his fingers moved quickly to rectify the situation. It _was_ getting a bit chilly. Yuki wondered how late it was; if the party was over yet or not. With a start, he realized Yumi might be looking for him. He had to go back to the house. He had to _not_ think about what sempai had been doing to him for the last few minutes, or hours, he couldn't be sure which, or he wouldn't be able to be as calm as sempai was being about all this.

Getting to his feet, Yuki had buttoned his suit jacket and was settling his collar, when he suddenly remembered.

"Sempai?"

"Hm?" The older boy appeared to be staring at a spot on the ground, his eyes now shaded by crisp locks of black hair that shone in the lantern light, the same lantern light that cast a golden glow over his pale skin. No, Yuki shouldn't think about things like that; if he did, it would only make him think of what he and sempai had been doing or almost done -

"Can I have my bow tie please? I should get back to the party or Yumi will be wondering where I am." Even as Yuki spoke the words, he heard the unconscious lie. With her onee-sama by her side, Yumi would be noticing little else, short of an earthquake.

"Ah, your bow tie?" As he spoke, a familiar sly smile spread over Kashiwagi's lips, and he raised his head at last to look at his kouhai. He paused.

"You'll find it in the left pocket of my suit jacket, which is folded over the end of the terrace we jumped over."

"WHAT!?"

Yuki gaped at Kashiwagi in disbelief. "Sempai, you –I chased you all this way for nothing!?"

A shadow seemed to pass over his sempai's face. "For nothing? Yes, I suppose so." In one graceful movement, he was standing, once again towering over Yuki. Then he turned away abruptly.

"You'd better go back in. Your sister might be looking for you."

See? Yuki said to himself. Kashiwagi sempai must do things like this all the time. That's why he can be so calm about it and just walk away, without even saying anything. Maybe this is enough now. Maybe he just needed to get all those feelings out and now he'll never bother me again. Ever.

"Yuki?" His sempai's voice stopped Yuki in his tracks. He turned around slowly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm surprised. I didn't expect that you'd be so calm about this. It seems like this kind of thing is a regular occurrence for you?" Kashiwagi's voice was smooth and mocking, but his eyes told a different story.

"What about sempai? It seemed like a pretty regular thing for you. Is this how you pass the time at every boring party? Who would you have gone to if you hadn't accidentally seen me?"

Yuki's heart was thumping rapidly and his hands were trembling. He had never spoken so rudely, so openly to an older person like this; a rich, powerful person who could probably make his life, or Yumi's life unpleasant somehow. But he couldn't stop himself. There was something welling up inside him, and it wasn't fear, it wasn't nausea. It was anger and something like hurt and resentment that made his trembling hands clench into fists at his sides.

"I'm not just a toy for you, or for anyone else to play with."

That would have been a good line to end on, to stalk away with his head held high, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the rare look of surprise that appeared on Kashiwagi's face, his sapphire eyes widening. Maybe it was Yuki's lightning-flash realization that what had happened here tonight was _important_ and he wanted to know if he was the only one who felt that.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one. In a few quick strides, Kashiwagi was standing in front of him, then after an unbearably tense moment, raised his hands to grasp Yuki's shoulders firmly.

"I know you're not a toy, Yuki." It was as if by saying his name, sempai was reaffirming something; as if he were proving that he knew who was standing in front of him.

One part of Yuki's mind was screaming at him that _you're not gay! Why are you letting him touch you again? Shouldn't you be escaping right about now?_ It seemed like that was the more rational part of his mind; the 'normal' part that was in control most of the time. But another part of his mind was speaking more persuasively at the same time, telling him that this was the chance confront his fears and his secrets, because there was never a 'right moment' and it was time to find out once and for all if Kashiwagi sempai ever really _meant_ anything he said or did, and if so, what Yuki wanted to do about it.

"If I'm not a toy, then what am I?"

"That's a difficult question to answer," Kashiwagi gave a half-smile. "I can think of a few things I _want_ you to be, but I don't know if you'd agree to any of them."

"Huh?" Yuki's brow was furrowed in puzzlement. He wasn't exactly sure what sempai was talking about, but he was certain that that wasn't an answer to his question.

Chuckling at the look on the younger boy's face, Kashiwagi Suguru bent down to rest his forehead against Yuki's.

"To me, you're not a toy, Yuki." Sempai's voice was very soft. "You never have been. There was nobody else in that room tonight, except you."

Yuki let out a slow breath, eyes lowered in thought. Even now sempai could be lying. This could be a line that he would use on anyone. His voice was so smooth and calm, the words rolling off his tongue so easily. And yet…

There was the surprised look on sempai's face. There was sempai sitting with his hair hiding his eyes as he stared at the ground. There was sempai's voice when he had spoken Yuki's name. There was sempai's grip on his shoulders, firm but gentle, and sempai's hands as he had touched Yuki's skin.

"Ok then."

He looked up slowly, taking a step backward in order to look at sempai properly. Kashiwagi looked a bit confused and uncertain. It was a rare expression to see on the face of the normally confident, self-assured young man, and Yuki felt a smile working its way onto his face.

"'Ok then'? What-what do you mean?" Kashiwagi sempai actually _stumbled_ slightly over the words, and Yuki had the sudden insane urge to hug him.

"I mean, I understand things now, and actually I'd like to see where this," he gestured vaguely in the space between their bodies, "could go."

After all, if sempai really _meant _it, if Kashiwagi sempai really did feel that way, then there was no need to be afraid; of looking like an idiot, of being hurt unnecessarily, of being toyed with, all for nothing; there was no need to be afraid. And perhaps finally, the thousand little snippets of thoughts and feelings about his tall, dark, blue-eyed sempai, which had been lingering subconsciously, since Yuki's high school days, could be allowed to come together and make something. He didn't know what it would be in the end, but somehow he knew that it would be something worth taking a chance on.

He was the guy after all, taking a chance on sempai. Just taking a chance.

Kashiwagi still looked a little confused, but he tentatively brought one hand up to touch the younger boy's face. Yuki continued to gaze steadfastly at him; he half-expected sempai to suddenly kiss him again, but for a while Kashiwagi simply looked at him, lightly stroking Yuki's cheekbone with his thumb. A slow smile spread across the taller boy's face, and his other hand slipped off Yuki's shoulder, instead reaching down to take his hand.

"Shall we take this back to the house?" Sempai asked in his familiar husky drawl, and laughed at the abrupt widening of the great brown eyes looking up at him.

"Sempai, isn't that a bit sudden? Although, having seen the way you work…" Yuki trailed off uneasily.

"I mean, if we go back into the party like this, it will certainly raise some eyebrows, and uncomfortable questions." Kashiwagi gestured at the their clothes, and Yuki noticed for the first time the formerly pristine garments were now crumpled, dirty and grass stained. He groaned aloud.

"My mother is going to kill me!"

The black-haired boy chuckled.

"I've heard the laundry services of Sa-chan's house are unparalleled. A couple of hours and we'll be good as new. I'm sure your sister won't mind staying a bit later than planned while she waits for you."

Yuki thought for a moment.

"Sure. It's only fair, since all this is Yumi's fault in the first place. I had to come to this party because of her."

"Is that so?" Kashiwagi sempai raised an eyebrow, "I'll have to find a way to express my undying gratitude. Does she like pearls?"

Yuki blushed and rolled his eyes, but a smile rose unbidden to his lips.

They started to walk back to the house, to the back entrance this time, away from the bright lights and noise in the entertaining room. Kashiwagi sempai didn't let go of his hand, and Yuki didn't stop smiling.

_Author's Note: First MariMite fic I've ever attempted. Inspired by Rosa Chinensis' brilliant Yuki fic "His Fear". This is probably the worst place to put shounen-ai :P hehe. But I'd love to get some feedback! _


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